Powerlessness and Rage

"What begins as aspiration leads to exasperation, which in turn leads to desparation.  Desparation is the beginning of rage"

Brian McLaren

You can feel it at the family reunions.  You pass it on the streets.  You see it at our own kitchen tables and living rooms.  It is a silent, simmering rage.  An anger that is palpable.  I would see it in my father's eyes as he read at the Kitchen table.  Although he was one of the kindest people I have known, deep down inside, he, like millions of other African American men of his time and in this time, was angry.  I can even feel it in me, when I am at a meeting advocating for my kids in something as simple as a basketball team meeting.

This anger spills out in many ways.  It can be directed inward through self-destructive behavior or in abusive language and actions towards those who look like self.  It can be directed outward through incredible acts of violence and pathos at the greater socieity.  All we need is to look within any African American community, and there it is:  Rage. 

Black men in general experience this rage to a signficant higher degree than Black women.  Some have attributed this to differences in gender approaches to life, but I think that there are significant historical forces that have helped to shape this anger.

If you do not believe me, then just consider the amount of violence that we, as Black men perpetuate, mostly on other Black men and women.  That isnt just an issue of poverty and closed living space, but of stormed up angst and bottled up pain.

When I think about my father's generation, I see a group of men who did not have opportunities to follow their dreams but more specifically, to provide and protect their families.  Generations previous to my father's were even more polarized in this manner.  Black men were disproportionately denied opportunities for education, training, and wealth generation.  Black women here often seen as less threatening and have gained significantly more opportunities for career advancement and income generation. 

Even today, many Black men are noted to have an achievement gap with Black women by the time of elementary schools.  The images that Black men have of themselves are often loose connection of masuclinity with dominance, street smarts, and the ability to endure.  When I think about my families and friends, often there are celebrations of someone coming home from prison (as there should be), but they are celebrated as more masculine and now credible as a man.  When is that last time that I attended a party to celebrate a Black man who got his Ph.D, or developed a non-profit organization of change? 

Today, many Black men secretly stress that their professional wives or significant others will desire what they can not give.  A man who is professional, possesses high income, has generations of wealth accumulation, and who relates in a way that is based upon experiences that are outside of the realm of Black Culture.  In Tyler Perrry's, "The Family that Prays together", this was the quintessential struggle for one of the main characters. 

The violence, the abuse, the neglect, the apathy that is found in the actions of many Black men, comes down to a deep seeded anger that comes from  malshaped aspirations, society imposed exasperations, and a painful, lonely desperation to be of significance: to be valued and successful in opportunities.  We can not tell a young man who barely passed his public education to pick up his bootstraps and become a sucessful "entrepreneur" when he is 25 yrs old.  Nor can we compare the exceptions, those who are generating wealth and living violence-free, with the masses.

My question for the African American community is: "How do we process the anger?"  When do we stop internalizing and sharing pain through violence, abuse, and crime and begin to heal the legitimate wounds that many Blacks, particularly Black men are experiencing.

I would love your comments,

God bless,

Pastor M Traylor